They act as though the bank account is always emptying out because you spend too much. You ask for too much, or you are never satisfied. They hide their financial abuse inside a thick blanket of blame. They make you feel guilty for just needing basic security.
When my father finally did spend a significant amount of money to pay for my studies, he made sure to install a deep sense of shame in me. He constantly made me feel like a heavy burden crushing his life.
One day the guilt was so heavy that I looked at him and said, “I feel ashamed that you have to do this for me.” I expected him to comfort me instead. A cold smirk appeared on his face. He looked at me and said, “Don’t worry. It’s like making an investment. You put money in a bank, and you are going to get it back with interest.” He did not see me as a son. He saw me as a walking bank account. Any money he spent was not out of love. It was a calculated loan that he intended to collect on later.
Number four: they secretly park assets and money under someone else’s name.
When a narcissist wants to hide their wealth, they will start burying their treasure on someone else’s island. They will open secret bank accounts, buy property, or make massive investments, but they will not put their own name on the paperwork. They will use a business partner or a distant relative—or even a fake company.
If you try to look at their official financial records, they look completely broke. But behind the scenes, they are quietly building an empire. They do this so that if you ever leave them—or if there is a legal battle—you cannot touch a single dime of the money that you helped them build.
They make sure you walk away with empty pockets while they keep all the gold.
Five: they suddenly become generous outside the house.
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