My own father had amassed an enormous amount of wealth secretly. But he was the ultimate miser to us and to everybody. If anyone in the family asked him for something simple—something that may cost maybe 10 or $20—he would put on a terrifying performance. He would literally start beating his own face with his hands and crying out loud. He would scream, “I’m a very poor person. I cannot afford all of these amenities. What kind of a hell have you trapped me in?” as if we were asking him for his kidneys. It was insane. He made us feel like monsters for just needing a pair of shoes.
My mother, on the other hand, who is a covert narcissist—I cannot deny that fact. Because my father was financially absent, she stepped in and spent her money on our needs. She bought us clothes and made sure we did not starve. But she used that money as a psychological weapon, which is the reason why I am where I am with no contact. She kept a mental receipt of every single penny ever spent on us.
Whenever she wanted control, she would pull out that invisible list and use it against us, screaming, “I did this for you. I did that for you.” She made us feel like we owed her our actual lives.
Money with a narcissist is always cursed. It is never just a tool. It is a trap.
Number two: they make themselves look more broke than they actually are.
This is one of their dirtiest tricks. They act as though there is absolutely nothing left in the bank account. They wear old clothes. They complain about the price of gas, and they make everything look incredibly tight.
Meanwhile, their money is being moved into shadows where the family cannot see it. I would like to tell you a story that is not just a metaphor. It actually happened. My father literally let his money rot just so we could not ask for it.
At one point, he had a massive stack of cash because of an issue at that time. He was stuck at home and could not go out to the bank. He was terrified that we may find the money and ask him to spend it on the family. So, he took this huge stack of cash and hid it deep inside a nasty drain hole in an external bathroom on her property. Nobody knew about it. Months later, he finally pulled it out to show us. The giant stack of cash had been almost entirely eaten away by black fungus. It was ruined.
I remember looking at that rotten money and feeling a strange sense of delight. It was pure karma. I’m telling you, God rewarded his greed in the most fitting way possible. But here is the sickest part: even though the money was mostly ruined, he still did not offer a single rotten bill to us. They will literally let their wealth turn to dust before they use it to make your life easier.
Three: they hide money by making the family look like the problem.
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