These are two very common traits in the narcissistic personality.
When they’re proven wrong, they want to believe that they’re always right—that everyone else has got it wrong, and that they alone know the truth.
But as you and I both know, that’s completely flawed and skewed. Of course, they can’t know everything—and, in fact, none of us knows everything. There’s always room for learning.
They don’t think that way. They think they’re perfect. They believe they don’t have anything to learn. They don’t have anything to take in. They either “know” the subject without truly understanding it, or they pretend to.
But when they’re proven wrong by someone—for example, in a court case—they may have arguments that make sense at the surface level.
However, when you dig in and come prepared with strong counterarguments—when they’re clearly exposed and proved wrong—they get shaken to their core.
They’re shaken because they can’t accept that they’ve been defeated. And it’s even more damaging when someone else—especially you, since you were the primary victim—knows better than them.
That’s the major injury. That’s what shocks them.
They can’t accept that they were defeated by a “stupid” or “naive” person like you. In their mind, their intellect is godlike—their knowledge is superior, and they’re morally and otherwise superior to everyone else.
It puts them into a state of denial and crisis, because defeat isn’t something they can handle. Winning is all they know. Defeat isn’t a word in their vocabulary.
Before we move to number five, I’m curious to know: was there anything you did that deeply shocked the narcissist? Drop your experiences in the comments below and share them with other survivors.
Who could get their experiences validated?
Number five: When you don’t feed them anything—no emotion—and you become bland in confrontation
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