The next thing you might expect if you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist is the “let’s be friends” conversation—or text. And again, this is only a conversation you’ll get if you leave the lines of communication open. If you don’t do a firm no-contact and block everywhere, it’s more likely you’ll get pulled into this.
And of course, there are cases where people are really good friends with their exes and nothing inappropriate is going on. This is not the case with a narcissist. And if you’ve ever experienced evidence of this, please let us know in the comments.
This is one that you’ll end up regretting if you take this bait. Just stop before you start.
So let’s look at a comment: “My exark never came back. Well, unless the ‘let’s be friends’ routine counts. I agreed only for her to smear me and totally try to destroy me mentally.”
So often, when this “let’s be friends” thing happens with exes, it’s usually because they cross lines. They don’t respect your boundaries, and they look at the friends thing as a back door to sneak their way back into your life.
But this one is an interesting twist—and also very possible. If you discard a narcissist, it’s kind of like when somebody gets fired and they say, “No, no, no. You can’t fire me. I quit.” They need to be the ones to make the decision. They need to be the ones in control and power, and so they need to discard.
So if you discard them first, you don’t take back a narcissist—because it’s all about revenge at this point. They want to show you who’s boss and that you can’t make these kinds of decisions.
Another thing you might experience when you go no-contact with a narcissist is that if they have anything against you, they will very likely use it against you. And they may do this in varying forms of “friendliness.” It might be an all-out threat. They might be super nasty, or they might be friendly and subtly imply that they’re going to destroy you.
It really depends on what they’re looking to get and what they have on you. Also, I’ll mention that often times a narcissist doesn’t have anything on you, but they will imply that they do. And this can get you thinking about anything you’ve ever done in your life and how they might hold it against you.
When it comes to threats like this, do not assume that there are only empty threats. It’s very possible that a narcissist will follow through. But the only good news—if you could call it a silver lining—is that a narcissist will usually threaten first because they like to have power and control over you.
By far, probably the best and most common reason I hear that people have gone no-contact but have not blocked the narcissist is that when someone fears retaliation, they want to see what’s coming their way. They want to see if they can report it to someone, or at least somehow be prepared.
The next thing you might expect from a narcissist after they go no-contact is emotional blackmail. And this can happen through other people if you have blocked the narcissist—or it could happen over text or phone call if you have not blocked them.
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