Now, with all of that said, what happens when you turn the tables and dare to ignore the narcissist entirely? Well, they hate it. Even if they try to hide that fact, I assure you: fully ignoring the narcissist for any length of time is going to inspire some deeply negative emotions in them.
And why is that? Well, to begin with, narcissistic people are very addicted to being seen as special somehow. And nothing communicates that you are not, in any way, special more clearly than ignoring them entirely. They also need to be the one in control. And few things communicate you are not in control with more clarity than, you guessed it, ignoring them entirely.
When you ignore someone with a destructive narcissist personality pattern, you are demonstrating that they are fully and completely powerless—at least where you’re concerned—which they cannot stand. In fact, it drives them crazy.
What many people don’t know is that people on the spectrum of destructive narcissism lack personal power. No matter what things look like on the surface, I assure you, deep down they are powerless beings where genuine, authentic personal power is concerned. And having anything or anyone shine a light and expose their fundamental lack of personal power is painful for the narcissist.
Their sense of self-importance is shattered when it becomes clear that they are powerless to affect you, dominate, manipulate, or control you. The influence, control, or hold they may have once had over you is breaking. And this is a serious problem for a destructive narcissist.
In addition to exposing their lack of control and personal power, when you ignore a narcissist entirely, you’re likely to also trigger all of their fear, shame, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. No matter how good they are at hiding those feelings, I promise you, they’re there. And especially with a more covert and vulnerable narcissist, you’ll also trigger their abandonment issues.
They can reject, hurt, ignore, ghost, stonewall, abandon, criticize, diminish, and demean you all day long—and you’re supposed to just suck it up and take it. But when the tables turn and they’re the ones being ignored, it doesn’t tend to go over very well.
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