5 Things a Narcissist does when they’re alone

And the most obvious one: they get drunk, use substances, use drugs, and visit adult websites.

They feed their fantasies.

That’s why they can’t be intimate with you—because their fantasies about what physical intimacy “should” be are out of this world, based on pure imagination, and nothing real. They feed their narcissistic false self, and it stimulates them mentally in a way that reality cannot—because they’re disconnected from reality.

When they’re present in reality with you, when they’re in the act, they run away from everything.

They don’t want to feel vulnerable. Looking at a screen and looking at random people doesn’t require vulnerability, which makes it exciting for them.

They get heavily drunk and/or high, then call you and tell you bizarre things—whether it’s love-bombing, unexpected, uncalled-for attention, or extreme devaluation.

You wouldn’t even know what happened, because the moment you try to understand it, they’ve already shifted the narrative.

It becomes time to stroke their ego—and the best way to do that, for them, is to get a high, so they don’t have to feel the low of their true self, their true identity.

When they’re left on their own, they tend to touch that shame, that insecurity— that rotten, fallen, fragmented self.

They don’t want to go there. It’s suffocating. It feels dense and pent up. So they run away and find any reason to do it.

They can’t sit in their own shade. They run away from their shadow—which is really dark and dense.

Their life is all about pretending to be somebody or something that they aren’t, and that’s where extreme self-hatred comes from. Even if they seem like they’re most self-loving—it’s the opposite. It’s rooted in self-hatred. And that’s what they take out on you.

All in all, a narcissist does not cope well when left alone. They can’t stand their own presence. It eats them alive.

That was it for today’s episode. Thank you so much for tuning in and listening. I’ll talk to you in the next one.

Until then, as always: let the healing begin, and continue.

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