So, you’ve just gone no-contact with a narcissist in your life. Now what?
Well, I can tell you what happens next isn’t always pretty, but it’s usually predictable. I’m going to talk through 14 things that you might expect from a narcissist when you go no-contact. And, really upfront, I can tell you all of these things fit into one of four categories.
So, the first category answers the question: “Will I ever hear from the narcissist again?” And the answer is usually yes, but not always. The one thing I want to stress is that if that happens, it has nothing to do with you or your value.
Some narcissists just do not go back. They’re always looking for fresh supply. And even if that doesn’t describe the narcissist you’re with, if they don’t come back, look at it as a blessing in disguise—or maybe a blessing right out in the open, depending on how you feel right now.
The other three categories we’re going to look at are hoovering, smear campaigns, and revenge. The last two overlap a little bit sometimes.
Hoovering is when the narcissist tries to get you back. This is when they appear vulnerable and they appear to be sorry for the way they’ve treated you. Sometimes they’ll come through with what I call faux apologies—fake apologies. They might actually say the words, “I’m sorry,” or imply that they’re sorry. And sometimes they don’t say that at all.
But if you want this person to be sorry—if you really know the words you want to hear and you so desperately want to hear them—sometimes we read between the lines and give people credit for things they didn’t actually say or mean. And that can get us into a lot of hot water.
If you’ve been clear about your wants and needs, yet they still hurt you in the same way over and over again, the one thing you can assume is that they’re doing it with intention. They knew what they were doing when they were doing it, and they didn’t care.
So, the smear campaign and revenge—we’ll talk about more as we get through the 14 things on this list. But really, this is when the narcissist is hurt by your actions and they want you to know it.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment