Now that said, don’t be surprised if they decide to ignore you back for a while anyway in an attempt to reassert their sense of power, domination, superiority, and control. All I can say about that is enjoy the peace while it lasts, because it’s likely to be short-lived.
Meanwhile, they’ll go out of their way to assassinate your character—working hard to damage, if not completely destroy, your reputation—in the spirit of entitlement, superiority, and revenge. The narcissist’s whole modus operandi will be to poison others’ perception of you with distorted narratives and outright fabrications. They are infamous for twisting the truth and manipulating perceptions to serve their own purposes.
So expect them to use truth out of context, lie by omission, as well as lie outright. In their view, they feel entitled to say whatever it takes to feel powerful and in control again—and to make you pay for having had the audacity to reject them to begin with.
And depending on how high they are on the spectrum of destructive narcissism, they may even become threatening or violent. So again: be careful, be smart, and stay safe always.
But when all else fails, you may find they even turn on the tears and attempt to sweet talk you with insincere, half-fast, and fully disingenuous apologies, as well as all kinds of empty promises. Anything they think you need to hear will be used as a ploy to regain your attention, energy, and affection.
Whatever you do, do not fall for any of this. It’s a game—pure manipulation—and it won’t last. Always remember: words are so easy to say when you’re dealing with someone who you know from past experience is really good with the words—but always fall short on consistent, reliable, and predictable amended behavior. Pay attention to the behavior, not the words.
Again, words are easy, and a person with a destructive narcissist personality pattern is not going to be able to back it up with any degree of consistency. So stop hurting yourself by falling for the BS when their words and behavior don’t match. You deserve better.
Now, with all of that said, in my view, the only sane answer for someone in a relationship with a destructive narcissist is to at the very least put some distance between you—if not break away from them entirely, if you’re able. And I know that’s not always easy, convenient, or possible right away. But if you can, it’s always going to be your best bet.
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