This is a good way to test whether your habits are tied to trauma. If you’re in a healthy environment, but you have a preference for taking the blame, it could be that you’re just incredibly polite—or you may be deeply traumatized.
Victims of mental abuse tend to overapologize for the tiniest little things. It’s like an automatic reflex left over from being made to feel at fault for everything. Imagine someone accidentally steps on your shoe, yet you’re the one saying, “Oh, I’m sorry.”
That constant criticism messes with your sense of responsibility. It leaves you always on edge, fearing you’ll get into big trouble over tiny mistakes.
Psychologists explain how this constant blame sticks to your identity. It makes you apologize for things you didn’t even do. This can have serious negative implications for future relationships.
Being unable to exist without apologizing can make you and your partner more stressed. And if anxiety and stress are triggers for your apologies, it can become an unending cycle.
Your relationship with control will change. We’ve mentioned it before, but there is a profound connection between your mental state and your need for control. It feels safe. So when people are feeling triggered, they might try to control their physical environment to release endorphins and dopamine. But what we know is that this is a temporary fix. The more you rely on controlling your surroundings for relief, the more you’ll obsess over it.
People who’ve been through mental abuse might develop this habit as a coping mechanism. When you deal with constant criticism and a lack of control in your life, cleaning can become a way to manage that internal chaos. Imagine someone who felt like they were always walking on eggshells. To regain a sense of order, they clean excessively—scrubbing the kitchen for hours.
This behavior isn’t just about cleanliness. It’s about regaining control.
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