Ever wonder what you’re actually supposed to say when a passive-aggressive covert narcissist tries to twist your words? It’s so easy to get triggered or end up looking and feeling like the bad guy. So, I’m going to show you the exact phrase and strategy that keeps you calm, in control, and totally unshakable—even with the most manipulative people.
Understand that this isn’t about winning against a covert narcissist. It’s about how to remain empowered, clear, and maintain your self-respect during the interaction. But how exactly do you do that?
Well, to start, get clear on your outcome before you speak. If you go into the conversation hoping they’ll understand, take accountability, or validate your feelings, you’ve already lost. And if you’re expecting a covert narcissist to be honest, fair, or reasonable, you’re deluding yourself. Your goal has to be emotional intelligence and self-leadership, not emotional resolution. So get clear before you engage, and have realistic expectations based on who and what you’re dealing with.
Let me show you how this is done. You want to name the behavior, not their character. Calling them a narcissist is a waste of breath, and it will get you nowhere.
When it comes to confronting a passive-aggressive covert narcissist, you want to calmly point out specific behaviors and patterns instead of labeling the person. That’s emotional intelligence in action. It’s what keeps you grounded and credible.
That said, don’t be surprised if they call you the narcissist. There are plenty of covert narcissists running around calling themselves empaths. And anyone who dares see through them, set a boundary with them, call them out, and refuse to put up with their nonsense is a narcissist.
According to them, when that happens, don’t so much as bat an eyelash.
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