If you look at the dinner table of an aging narcissist, you will notice something tragic: it is either empty or filled with people who are checking their watches. Narcissists view relationships as transactions. “I give you money, you give me obedience. I give you life, you owe me servitude.”
They spent 50 years treating people like vending machines, inserting coins to get what they wanted. But in old age, the vending machine completely breaks. The narcissist runs out of coins and suddenly realizes that transactional relationships have an expiry date. The people around them are there out of obligation or financial dependence. There is no warmth, no laughter—only tense silence and a waiting game.
The narcissist ends up terrified of being alone. Yet, they drive everyone away with their bitterness. Your table looks different because you are an empath. You spent your life pouring into others. Yes, you may have overgiven in the past, but as you heal, this becomes crucial. You learn to give wisely. You built relationships based on vulnerability, shared interests, and mutual respect.
Maybe there are only a few people in your life, but those individuals are genuine—diamonds in the rough. As you age, you reap the dividends of relational wealth. You have friends who call you just to hear your voice, not because they want something. You have family, whether biological or chosen, who visit because your home feels like a sanctuary.
You rise because you are surrounded by love that you earned, not the love that you demanded. And even if you do not have anyone at all, you have yourself. Having yourself for yourself is the biggest source of support you can ever have.
The Late Bloomer Effect: Your Second Adolescence
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