The nervous system of a person who has experienced complex trauma operates fundamentally differently than that of someone who has not experienced prolonged abuse. When faced with the prospect of leaving home, your body goes into what is called hypervigilance mode. Your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes shallow or you may stop breathing, and your muscles tense up in preparation for fight, flight, or freeze. But since there is no actual immediate physical threat, this energy has nowhere to go, creating this paralyzed feeling. The brain then starts catastrophizing, imagining all the worst-case scenarios that could happen outside: Will someone reject me? Will they take advantage of me? Will I say something wrong? Will I be judged? Will I be attacked? Will I be laughed at? These thoughts quickly spiral because the brain has been trained to expect the worst from human interactions.
Things changed dramatically for me once I understood what was really happening. From doing webinars to meeting so many people online every single day, I’ve gotten completely used to social interactions. It gives me no anxiety anymore; in fact, I love doing this every day. I enjoy appearing before you, conversing with so many people. This transformation happened because I realized it was never my natural personality. That’s why I’ve been telling you it may not be your shyness. It might just be a significant trauma response, a dysregulation of your nervous system.
When you understand that your fear of leaving home is not a character flaw but a survival mechanism, everything changes. Compassion comes in, and that’s what you need to reclaim yourself and build that confidence.
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