Here’s another classic pickpocket con. Someone walks up looking flustered, like a tourist who’s completely lost. They hold a crumpled map, point out a street sign, and fumble with their phone. They ask, “Excuse me, can you help me find this place?” And of course, you lean in, trying to help. You point, explain, and maybe even take the map from their hands. But it’s never about directions; it’s about distraction. While you’re focused on helping them, they’re already helping themselves to your wallet.
Narcissists do the same thing—maybe because they feel a little bored, or maybe they feel like the attention isn’t on them enough, or perhaps they just don’t feel special. So, they create a moment where they act like the lost tourist. Instead of asking for directions, they act confused about what you meant. That’s the approach. They say, “I’m confused,” or, “What do you mean by that?” It sounds innocent, but it’s not. Yes, this is a tactic, and yes, they’re doing it on purpose. It’s how they hook your attention.
If you’re a caring person, you’ll do what most do: lean in, try to explain, or walk them through your tone or meaning. You soften your words or try to be clearer—that’s the distraction. They know exactly what they want. And the minute you try to unconfuse them, they’re already succeeding. Your focus shifts to helping them, and just like that, they’re helping themselves to your energy, attention, and self-doubt. Why do they do this? Because watching you scramble to clarify and soothe makes them feel powerful.
Tactic 3
Here’s another classic pickpocket con. Someone drops something right in front of you—maybe a scarf, their keys, or even their wallet. That’s the approach. You see it hit the ground, and of course, you do what any decent person would do: you bend down, pick it up, and hand it back to them. That’s the distraction. But that moment of kindness is precisely what they’re counting on. They never needed their scarf back; they needed you distracted. While your head is down, they’ve already taken exactly what they wanted.
The drop wasn’t an accident; it was bait meant to distract you so they can exploit you. Narcissists do the same in conversation. Let’s say you’re at a dinner party and say something light-hearted like, “I didn’t sleep great last night.” They smile and reply, “Oh no, was our conversation too stimulating for your delicate nerves?” It sounds like a joke, but underneath, it’s a jab that paints you as fragile or dramatic. That’s the drop.
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