If you don’t realize that you’ve been targeted yet, what you’ll notice first is that people are talking behind your back, and you have no idea why. You’re not sure who started it or who’s in charge of it; you just know that somehow you’re radioactive now. This is what triangulation looks like in real life. It happens behind the scenes. One person uses others to do their work for them—this is where the flying monkeys come in, just like in The Wizard of Oz. These are people who are sent to do the dirty work: family members, coworkers, or even your own children. The goal is always the same: to exile you, to punish you, and to make sure no one believes you.
You’ll notice it in small ways: rooms that go silent, conversations that shift, helpful messengers who warn you to behave differently (framed as helpful), but what they’re really doing is just becoming your handler. This is what you need to notice. The flying monkeys are the clue. If you pay attention to how you’re being handled, you can figure out who’s targeting you and what behavior you’re being trained to follow. That doesn’t mean you need to comply; it means that you need to see the system for what it is. Once you see it, you can protect yourself.
Instead of teaching you a tool, let me show you how I would deal with this. When something like this happens, I actually use the tools that I built into my training. I put everything I’ve learned in the last 25 years into these tools: the same frameworks I use with my books, classes, and private clients. It’s all in one place, so I don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time something like this shows up.
Let’s say I’m having trouble at work with a manager who seems to be targeting me, and I’ve noticed flying monkeys. I drop into the situation, and it shows me exactly what’s happening and what to do next. Because when you’re triggered or blindsided, it’s hard to think clearly. This breaks it down for me: what’s really going on, what to watch for, and the exact words to use. For example, it gives me this script: “I appreciate your input, but I’m comfortable with how I’m handling things.” And that’s it—no explaining, no defending, no justifying. If they keep pushing, I just repeat, “I’m comfortable with my approach.”
If I were at work, I could screenshot this and keep it on my phone for the next time I need a comeback. The flying monkeys and the narcissist boss don’t have to take up mental space anymore; I’m locked and loaded. That’s why I built these tools, so no one has to wonder how to deal with situations like this.
Target Clue 3
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