The fourth sign is subtle, but it gives you the feeling that something is deeply wrong: they bring home a stranger’s personality. Narcissists do not have a solid sense of self; they’re like water, taking the shape of whatever container they are in. They mirror the person they are trying to seduce. When grooming a new supply, they study them and adopt their likes, dislikes, slang, and hobbies to create a false sense of compatibility. Because they are spending so much energy mirroring this new person, that personality starts to bleed into your home.
This is the contagion. You will notice them using words or slang phrases they have never used before—maybe words that are too young for them or from a region they are not from. You will suddenly notice them humming a song from a genre they used to hate. If they hated country music for 10 years, let’s say, and suddenly they are humming a country song in the shower, that is not a random change; that is a clue.
They may suddenly have a strong opinion on a topic they never cared about, like astrology or a specific sports team or political issue. When they talk about it, they do not sound like themselves; they sound like they are repeating a script. If you ask them since when they use the word “fam” or why they’re drinking matcha tea when they used to hate tea, they will get incredibly defensive, saying, “People change. Why do you always want to keep me in a box? You never want me to grow.”
They attack you for noticing. But the truth is, you are witnessing the contamination of your relationship. You’re watching the new supply’s influence override the person you thought you knew, bringing the stranger into your living room piece by piece.
Sign 5: Paranoid Shower
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