To cultivate a more resilient sense of self during conversations, especially with potential narcissists, use the axis check method. When you sense yourself being drawn into their world or losing sight of your own perspective, pause and check in with your physical sensations—feel your feet on the ground or your hands. This grounds you in the present moment.
Next, practice self-remembering by asking yourself, “What do I want?” This question quickly brings you back to your axis of focus and reminds you that you are a separate person with different needs and desires. Communicate something that expresses individuation by stating your unique perspective, such as, “I see it differently” or “That doesn’t work for me.”
Pay close attention to their response; a narcissist may show irritation or dismissiveness towards your stated needs or boundaries. By using this method, you project a clear sense of self that narcissists find difficult to manipulate. However, remain alert—strong self-awareness and independence can trigger rage in a narcissist, who may feel envious of your self-respect.
Person Number Three: The Assertive Empath
Have you ever found yourself feeling deeply for someone’s situation yet knowing you had to voice your truth, even if it might cause discomfort or conflict? This combination of empathy and assertiveness represents the third type of person a narcissist cannot tolerate: the assertive empath. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, while assertiveness is about expressing your thoughts and feelings confidently and directly.
This balance between emotional sensitivity and personal integrity makes you an intimidating opponent to a narcissist. You can empathize with others while remaining firm in your own perspectives and boundaries. Your awareness of other people’s emotions allows you to discern the genuine feelings that a narcissist often tries to mask.
The narcissist recognizes when you see through them, and they don’t like it. Your ability to acknowledge and communicate this threatens their carefully curated identity. To test your boundaries, they might make unreasonable requests or criticisms, examining how you react. In contrast, an assertive empath calmly affirms their sensitivity as a strength and sets clear limits on their time and energy.
When overly empathetic, we often overlook this because our concern for others’ feelings can overshadow our own needs and boundaries. The trick is to stay grounded while being comfortable with a certain level of conflict.
Strategy for Empowerment: Reflect and Assert Technique
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment