You show total indifference to their schedule. Remember the anxiety, the nights you stared at your phone waiting for a text, the stomach knots wondering who they were with or if they were cheating again? The detective work you used to do just to feel safe? When you are truly tired of the narcissist, that anxiety evaporates. But it’s not because you trust them; it’s because you no longer care what they do. They could stay out all night or be with a new source of supply, and frankly, your internal monologue would be, “Good. Let them be someone else’s problem.”
You stop asking, “Where are you?” because the answer does not matter anymore. You have emotionally fired them from the position of partner, so their whereabouts are no longer your concern. This detachment usually confuses them. They may even try to provoke jealousy just to get a rise out of you, but you simply cannot muster the energy to care.
Number Three: Leaving All Effort to Them
You leave all the effort up to them. For the longest time, you were the engine of the relationship. You planned the dates, remembered the birthdays, and probably initiated the difficult conversations. You kept the connection alive, overfunctioning to compensate for their underfunctioning. When you hit the wall of exhaustion, you drop the rope. You stop initiating texts. If they don’t call, you stay silent. If they don’t plan a date, you either stay home or go out alone. You stop carrying the emotional load, sitting back and watching. What you usually see is that without your effort, the relationship collapses instantly. This confirms what you knew all along: it was never a partnership. It was a piggyback ride, and you’re done carrying the weight.
Number Four: Withdrawing from Physical Affection
You withdraw from physical affection. This is often a visceral somatic reaction. The body keeps the score, and eventually, your body rejects the abuser before your mind fully accepts it. When they try to touch you, hug you, or be intimate, you feel your skin crawl. You flinch and pull away. The ick sets in. You see them not as the charming prince or princess they pretended to be, but as a source of your pain. With emotional safety gone, there can be no intimacy. You stop sitting next to them on the couch and go to bed at different times to avoid the awkwardness. You build a physical wall to match the emotional wall they have erected. This creates a dead bedroom situation because your body is literally on strike against the abuse.
Give Me 9 Minutes To Break The Spell The Narcissist Put On You
Number Five: Excluding Them from Future Plans
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